Live Free or Die Bitches

Day 17 we are heading north to one of my favorite places, The Knox Lodge and Spa Center, located in heart of the lakes region of NaHampsha. This place is great, the owners are friendly,the rooms are clean, the beds are comfortable, the hot tub is hot, and the continental breakfast & mimosa bar are top notch, probably the best in the state. In the winter there is a Snow Carnival, where I may or may not have broken an elbow, and every summer there are the Summer Games, where I may or may not have won a Gold Medal in the SlipNSlide event. This weekend we are here for a nice low key weekend. You know, a little R & R. After all, unemploymenting is hard.

After dinner at local eatery, America, SS, Danny & I swing by the golf club lounge for a pop or two and some live music. The crowd is thin, so we easily score a table by the band. We get a round of drinks and quickly realize this band is a one man show, he’s got guitars, and harmonicas and probably some knee cymbals somewhere in the pile of stuff next to him. Danny thinks he recognizes one of the older women at the bar. It’s definitely Judy Johnson from Lynn. Only one way to know for sure, on the count of three we all yell Judy and see if she looks. One, Two, Three…JUDY! Nothing. What the? It’s gotta be her. Again! One, Two, Three…JUDY! Judy is ignoring us. Whatever Judy Johnson, we see you. We see you. We suddenly realize the One Man Band is playing. He’s not very good. He’s kind of weird actually. He makes no eye contact, and has taken some liberties with some well known hits and turned them into substandard canticles. Also, America thinks he sounds like he’s playing in a bowl of assholes. Mercifully, the band is ending and so is our night. On our way out we give it one more go…JUDY! Nothing. Whatever Judy.

Day 18 what to do, what to do. We could go for a ride and look at the covered bridges. We could go for a hike up one of the many mountains in the area and enjoy nature. Who are we kidding? We’re going out for snacks and beers.  We decide to head to a quaint little village by Lake Winnipesaukee. We do some shopping and snacking, and eventually head over to one of the restaurants by the water, they have deck seating and pumpkin beer. What could be better? A couple of friends are in the area and are meeting us. Bubba & SinDee show up just in time to join us in the 28 minute wait for a beer. This place is slow, but the view can’t be beat. As we’re catching up and enjoying our company, who should walk in and be seated 4 tables away? JUDY FUCKING JOHNSON! One, Two, Three…JUDY! Nothing. What a bitch. We know it’s you Judy and I am pretty sure she’s with Maureen aka Reenie. Whatever. After a few more beers, we finish up and bid our friends safe travels and make our way back to the lodge for a night of fires, snacks, and a quick game of Cards Against Humanity. Why do we even play this game with America? She has a rotten soul, she always wins.

Day 19 we are head home after breakfast. It’s time to start thinking about my To Do List and getting ready for this week. Oh and I’ve not binged Shameless all weekend. I have catching up to do. We’re home 2 hours before we decide to go out for a bite and beer. We somehow ended up at a blues jam. Whoops. Tomorrow I’ll start thinking about my To Do List, I swear!

 

ps…Andy Cohen was NOT in the Granite State so far as I could tell.

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